Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
