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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
