They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
