Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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