I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
