My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
