people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just found puke in my bra..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
