I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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