Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
