dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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