My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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