My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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