Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
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He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The air taste purple.
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