If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
