I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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