On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
