There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
