I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
