Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
