i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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