my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.