Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back