you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
