Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
