Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
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everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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