she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
