white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
