Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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