Just cropdusted the office
someone owes me an orgasm
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
