dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
