there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
