Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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