As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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