yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
