I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
