Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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