Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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