I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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