Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
