update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
