I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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