We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
