his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
