thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
