i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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