I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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