trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize