My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
