Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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