Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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