Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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