I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
