Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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  (502): So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-( http://tfl.nu/sog4
  Replies (26) Good night (1225) Bad night (4657)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

  (817): View more from Texas

  told ya

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  (214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea
  Replies (13) Good night (2647) Bad night (682)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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  (215): she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel http://tfl.nu/yxdc
  Replies (16) Good night (567) Bad night (4040)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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  (419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him. http://tfl.nu/wimg
  Replies (60) Good night (1117) Bad night (3321)
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  (408): View more from California

  just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious

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  (408): just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious http://tfl.nu/av2y
  Replies (11) Good night (4544) Bad night (599)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

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  (506): porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off! http://tfl.nu/nmc3
  Replies (28) Good night (5876) Bad night (842)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.

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  (786): I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS. http://tfl.nu/52c3
  Replies (24) Good night (947) Bad night (3929)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's make jello shots for tomorrow

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What's going on tomorrow?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nothing, it's Wednesday

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  (913): Let's make jello shots for tomorrow (1-913): What's going on tomorrow? (913): Nothing, it's Wednesday http://tfl.nu/pnp1
  Replies (29) Good night (10861) Bad night (1062)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.

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  (717): He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home. http://tfl.nu/aglq
  Replies (9) Good night (3455) Bad night (882)
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  (619): View more from California

  Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.

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  (619): Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/2isj
  Replies (9) Good night (3038) Bad night (1020)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.

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  (573): I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days. (573): Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven. http://tfl.nu/oqxt
  Replies (7) Good night (1211) Bad night (564)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?

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  (607): Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised? http://tfl.nu/o7ko
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.

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  (519): I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands. http://tfl.nu/u4sr
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (428)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy

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  (608): He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy http://tfl.nu/uss1
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (809)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."

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  (503): The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you." http://tfl.nu/ce1u
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (175)

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