Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4
  Replies (31) Good night (6250) Bad night (2108)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school. http://tfl.nu/1unl
  Replies (20) Good night (4483) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer. http://tfl.nu/pliu
  Replies (18) Good night (1527) Bad night (4361)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her. http://tfl.nu/ivfo
  Replies (11) Good night (5563) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those" http://tfl.nu/90p2
  Replies (10) Good night (1048) Bad night (3160)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect. http://tfl.nu/cd2m
  Replies (4) Good night (3160) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left. http://tfl.nu/c9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (736) Bad night (2198)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label. http://tfl.nu/51vc
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (1643)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this. http://tfl.nu/syfp
  Replies (8) Good night (1362) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right? http://tfl.nu/4gj4
  Replies (8) Good night (1552) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (814) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): You're always so generous when it comes to your dick. http://tfl.nu/6xho
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I feel like you just railed me after that sext

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): I feel like you just railed me after that sext http://tfl.nu/hgfe
  Replies (8) Good night (1323) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice" http://tfl.nu/h37t
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while http://tfl.nu/owfg
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (381)

Randomize