just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.