Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT