I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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