using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
