I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
