I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.