I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
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she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
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Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.