I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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