Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
