You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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