just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
