We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
