you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
