She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
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Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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