your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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