Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
